Advocates for Children

By Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D.

Reviewed by Christine Fournier

Play is children’s way of exploring the world, communicating deep feelings, getting close to those they care about, working through stressful situations, and blowing off steam. Lawrence Cohen's book Playful Parenting gives parents a way to enter their child’s world in a fun way that fosters closeness, confidence and connection. It is an easy read and is full of hands on anecdotes that are easy to try.

Cohen explains that children’s primary caregivers are the child’s reservoir, a place to start from and return to, in between explorations. He uses the metaphor of filling and refilling a cup. A child’s need for attachment is like a cup that is being emptied by being hungry, tired, lonely, or hurt. The cup is refilled by being loved, fed, comforted, and nurtured. Filling and refilling the child’s cup is the basis of heartfelt parent-child connection. Play with our children fills that cup by allowing them to try on adult roles and skills, serves the need for attachment, affection and closeness and is a way to recover from emotional distress.

Playful Parenting also recognizes that before parents can really use any parenting advice, they need to recharge themselves, refill their own empty cup. It may seem like spending time playing will only eat up precious time and also deplete parents all ready running low cups, when actually fun play not only refills our children’s cups but our own as well. Cohen adequately acknowledges parents challenges and needs in this book as well as the child’s.